Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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