At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Found the puke drawer
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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