Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
