I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm getting married
To pizza
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize