oh god the rape fog is back!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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