so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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