I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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