she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
