Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
