C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If that was your dad, he is hot
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
