i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
