Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
