he puts the penis in happiness.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
