This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize