We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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