The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
