Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
