If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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