Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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