therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
