I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
