..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
