Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
