PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
