Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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