Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
