Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
