it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
