If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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