allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
