i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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