Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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