There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
