your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
