We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
