so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
