We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
