Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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