i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
