and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
