dude i'm inner monologue high
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
