Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
