i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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