STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
