I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize