Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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