According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know her cup size but not her name....
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