her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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