the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You can't just leave with hair like that
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
How naked do you want me to be?
Pooping to opera.
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