just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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