McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
