It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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