I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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