I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
