I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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