So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
