I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
