Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
