did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
