She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
