Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
