do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize