She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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